You know what it feels like when you try to pedal a bicycle with a rusted chain, a bent sprocket and stuck bearings? Well that’s the feeling that crushes me these days. All my energies, efforts and desires to do something are wasted on a mechanism that doesn’t move forward. At times, I have the impression that the design of life that makes me endure these problems, difficulties and daily inefficiencies is intended to not let me lift off into “flight,” to not let me get off the rusted bicycle until I am exhausted.
On this bicycle I’m talking about, I don’t control the handlebars, rather the stones in the road determine the direction and the only thing that works with any efficiency are the brakes. The street where I try to move forward is full of restrictive signs and no corner on my route has the right-of-way.
I know that it would be easier to toss the bike, to move to a neighborhood with broad roads well away from here, or to keep still, to have projects that exhaust and overwhelm me like a worn out flat tire. But it happens that there is a certain stubbornness and vague dreams of a future brand new bike that keep me on the saddle.